I Need You
by pandora505
Summary: Lloyd and Kratos's thoughts on each other. Please R&R
1. Lloyd's POV

Author's Note:  
This takes place during the attack on Iselia Ranch in the later part of the game, although there aren't really any spoilers. It's an eclectic mix of Lloyd's thoughts about Kratos, although it might be a little OOC for Lloyd to be this introspective.  
Zelos:is holding a sign that says: Lloyd's Deep Thoughts  
Lloyd: Hey cool! I get to have deep thoughts!  
Genis: Maybe Raine picked through you brain and made it comprehensible.  
Lloyd: Hey!  
Collette: Pandora wants you to know that she does own ToS. Sheena comes and whispers something to her Oh, wait, you say that's only when she's dreaming?  
  
Zelos said you were a traitor. That we shouldn't trust you.  
I think back to the beginning. We would have died without you, although that thought leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. You mocked us. Later on, you tried to kill us. So why do I still trust you? I remember something else. You told me not to die yet.  
There is certainly a mystery about you.  
I shake my head to clear the memories. Zelos looks at me questioningly. Through all of this, somehow I still have faith in you.  
Later, we are at the ranch. You ask me why I want you to come. I say to keep an eye on you. And maybe that was part of it. But there was another reason as well. I need you. Since that day you turned on us I have missed you. Now you are here again and I don't want to let you go. I want to fall and cling to your leg like a helpless child...and know you'll save me from the world.  
You say it was a good idea, as we are enemies.  
I look in your eyes as you say this. There is no malice. No contempt, no ill will. There is not even indifference. There is something else. Love, maybe? For a moment you look like you might cry. You blink and shake your head slightly and you are back to the old Kratos.  
We go in and we fight. Not because we like to. Not because we want to, but because there is no other way.  
I watch you fight. You are not the God I once thought of you as. You are a man, albeit with some special traits. Probably a good thing, for I have had quite enough of the divine. You fight in much the same way as Zelos does, though with more finesse and less flair.  
We are synchronized so well. We click, everything falls into place as though you were never gone. I fall once and shout out "I'm sorry Dad". I'm not sure if it was directed to Dirk or to my biological father...whoever he may be. All I know is that before I even hit the ground you were there to pick me up, to heal my wounds. I realize even with all you've done I'd rather place my life in your hands than anyone else's.  
And then it went so fast. Collette was sick again. We were at Dad's house. I saw a flicker in your eyes as you looked at him. He asked us to stay the night and you said no, that you had other business to attend to. And you were gone. I wanted to follow you like I had that night, that night before everything went to hell. But I didn't. And you were gone. And now, amidst all of my friends, I feel empty again.  
  
I might leave this as a one-shot, like it is now. Or should I add a part about Kratos's view on the same part? Please review  
Lloyd: Yeah! I need confirmation for my deep thoughts!  
Kratos:... 


	2. Kratos's POV

Author's Note: OK, Here's Kratos's POV on Lloyd, for the same timeframe as Chapter One was. Obviously this is going to have more spoilers. And, obviously, I still do not own ToS.  
-  
So. Here we are. Standing outside this infernal ranch. I have no idea why you want me here, or for that matter, why you haven't killed me yet. I would have. But you're not me, thank God...Thank Anna... So I ask.  
And you say you want to keep an eye on me.  
And I say this is a good idea, because it is. Considering all I've done.  
If only you could understand, that no matter how this appears, I could never hurt you. You are all I have left in this world. Anna...Why?...Why?  
You are looking at me and I feel like I should speak. So I say we are enemies now. And you nod slightly.  
What am I saying? Am I really saying that my only son is my enemy? Is this what I want? Is this really how it has to be? Dammit....Anna.  
I shake my head to clear the thoughts. Not the tears. I am not crying. I cannot be crying. This is how it has to be.  
We go in and fight. I wonder what for. I know you are fighting for Collette. But what am I fighting for? I have nothing left worth fighting for. Other than you, perhaps.  
You have grown stronger. This is good. You need to be strong. Stronger than me, because... Because that's what this will eventually come down to. I know it, even if you don't.  
You fall once and shout out "I'm sorry Dad!" and I rush to save you. And I realize that you weren't calling me because you don't know. And I can't let you know or you'll never go through with it. You are too softhearted, Lloyd. Although I guess that is better than to be...like me.  
And it's over. Collette is sick and we are at Dirk's house. I think I might hate him, for having what I most desire. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave. But if I don't go, I know I'll never be able to. And there are things I must do.  
So I politely decline Dirk's invitation to stay the night. And I get out of there as quickly as possible. I don't want you to see my face right now. I throw a glance back to see if you had followed me... Like you did that night. You saved my life then, whether you know it or not. I wish you hadn't. I wish I was dead right now. But the reason I look back now...I wish you had followed, yelled out "Where are you going Dad?" And I wish I could answer "To pick up dinner, what do you want?" Heh. Who am I kidding. That will never happen. It won't be like that. You won't ever know. You can't know. Because then you won't be able to do it. And you have to do it. I've decided. This is how it's going to be.  
Goodbye Lloyd. I love you.  
-  
Note: So there's chappy 2, what'cha think? I know the ending is kind of strange and a little OOC but I imagine they must think like that at times. If you've made it to Origin you should understand what all of the "You have to do it..."s are in reference to. Related to that, as per the recommendation of shadowfox83, I am contemplating doing another chapter after the battle with Origin. What does everyone else think about that? 


	3. Chapter 3 Both POVs

Author's Note: Okay, here's chapter three, which takes place in the time surrounding the Kratos and Origin battles. It's done in both views. Sorry it's short :(

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(Before Lloyd's Fight with Kratos)

Lloyd's POV:

I don't want to fight you, but you come at me, and primal instinct takes over. I draw my swords and join you in this dance of death.

Kratos's POV:

You'll fight. I'll make you fight. I'll make you destroy me.

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(After the Fight)

Lloyd's POV:

I won't do it. There's got to be another way. I've killed an angel. What stands before me is a man. A man who is called Kratos. A man who is a traitor. A man who is my father. I will find another way. So I lower my sword.

Kratos's POV:

Imbecile. You must succeed. Why are you putting away your sword? Do you really believe your own personal morals apply to the rest of the world? Wake up Lloyd. No one else cares about your ideals. They are dreams and that is all. ... So why do I share them? ... Oh well, even if I am forced to do it myself, I have my opportunity to die. And maybe to do some good for the world in the process. Be free, Origin. I place my faith in you.

Lloyd's POV:

What the hell are you doing?! We would've found another way. Even if it's hard, there are always other roads. There's always a back door or a window. And if there's not, well, then you make one.

Kratos's POV:

Yuan? Why must you take away my chance at death... At peace. I have been waiting for so long.

Lloyd's POV:

Yuan! Yuan saved you! Everything is going to be okay now. You'll come with us, and we'll save the world together, right?

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(The Next Day)

Lloyd's POV:

Is this right? Did I do the right thing? Are you okay Kr... Kratos? I don't even know what to call you. You've been too many things to me. A father-figure and a father. A savior and a traitor. An enemy and a friend. I still don't know who you are. Just that I'd like to know.

Kratos's POV:

Standing here, in the dark shadows is somehow peaceful. I could walk away. Never see you again. Never have to deal with everything I've done wrong, e.g. my entire existence, again. I could just forget. Forget that I've come close enough that I could yell and you'd hear me. But that would not be right. Then again, I no longer care much about what is "right", I just want to see your. Maybe I can atone for what I've done. Would you accept me? I almost laugh at this. Of course you would. For whatever reason you do not seem able to hate me. But can I myself accept going back. Yes. Yes, I think I can because I am.. I am your... your Dad. I realize rather suddenly how much I covet that title. It will never be mine. I could never ask you to call me that. Now matter how much I ... would like it.

Lloyd's POV:

You're here! I knew you would come back! You are everything that I thought you were before but you also something far more important. You are my Dad. I test the word out and you turn slightly. Suddenly I have an immense desire to jump on your shoulders and hold onto your hair. I wonder if I ever did this when I was little... I can see a small smile on your face, and I imagine you are thinking the same thing... Well, I can always make up for lost time now...

AHHHH!

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Author's Note: I think this will be the last chapter, unless I get some sudden inspiration for another (possibly the end of the game when Kratos goes back to Derris-Kharlan). So what did you think? Please review.

Heh, I didn't originally intend the end to be like that, but I was trying to figure out how Lloyd would think about these things and it popped into my head. And I can see it happening so very easily...


End file.
